Created For Praise

Our Precious Callie

2011-10-09T23:23:00.000-05:00

So many emotions I'm feeling these days. So many thoughts about our first, beautiful, precious baby, now in heaven. It's hard to imagine Callie's due date is today, Sunday, October 9th. What would it be like to be very much ready to deliver this little girl of mine? Or maybe I'd already be holding her in my arms...

Sharing this part of my heart isn't easy for me. But I feel that Callie's short but precious life should be shared. Shared, so she is recognized as the gift God gave her to be. Recognized, so that others may be encouraged to value life, just as God does. Society doesn't recognize an unborn baby as a person, a gift of life created by God. But every human life DOES matter. Why? Because "among all God's creatures, only humanity receives the image of God, and that quality separates us from all else...God's image is not an arrangement of skin cells or a physical shape, but rather an inbreathed Spirit." (Dr. Paul Brand and Philip Yancey.)

Callie's life began at conception. Yes, she was not fully formed. Her body systems were just beginning to develop. She hadn't started to hear sounds. Her heart had just begun to beat. So what is her life worth? Is there any meaning in her little life? Callie is God's image bearer. Her time, though short on earth, was exactly as God designed. She was crafted by Him for His glory. He does not look at Callie's short life as incomplete. He formed her with an eternal purpose in mind. He passionately loves Callie just as much as any other human created in His image! Her life is no less important than anyone else. Callie was made for worship. Psalm 8:2 says, "From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise," and I believe Callie was given to us so that we too, as her parents, might worship the King. That's why I celebrate her little life today. I praise God for giving her to us. She's turned my focus to heaven in a whole new way and given me a glimpse of eternity.

If you’ve ever lost a little one through miscarriage, I’d encourage you to recognize him/her as a person, a gift from God. Give her a name. Talk about him to your other children. Journal about your thoughts and feelings for this little one. Grieve the loss of never having known her. Remember special dates. I found I was much more able to grieve the loss of Callie by doing this, to celebrate her life, and to rejoice that she’s with Jesus, never needing to experience pain, disappointment, or grief.

Excerpts from my journal after losing Callie:

"I love you precious Callie. I never heard your heartbeat, I never snuggled you close, I never felt your tiny kicks inside me. But oh you are so precious to me. You are our firstborn now waiting for us in heaven. Jesus, hold my little one close to you today."

"My precious Callie, I think so much about you. Not a day goes by without me thinking about your smile, your little feet running across the grass in heaven, your precious hands picking a beautfiul flower. Oh how I miss you! You are forever in my heart. God put a special place in my heart just for you. You're my little girl. I carried you for the first eight weeks of your life. Oh how amazing to feel such an overwhelming love for you in such a short time!"

My husband's journal entry on Feb. 27th:
"We lost Callie yesterday and I knew she needed a place in this journal because she has sure found a place in my heart. It's strange finally being a Daddy, but never really having met my daughter. I wonder what she would have looked like, who she would have grown up to be, how it would have felt to be her hero for a while, and to be loved by her. But I am grateful for God's perfect plan. I like to think that she knows we love her...dearly! Psalm 57:1-2"

It’s never easy to experience loss. But God brings comfort, peace, and hope. He does this through His Word, by the thoughtfulness of a friend bringing flowers, a sister sending a special note through the mail remembering Callie's due date...

I'm missing Callie again, especially today. But I'd never wish her back because I know God's plan is perfect. And now I'm feeling the kicks of another little one growing inside me and know that God has something special in mind for this little one as well. Each gift God gives I must hold with open hands. He gives and He takes away. And even though I don't understand His ways, they are perfect and I choose to trust.

CMI Conference

2011-08-09T16:18:00.003-05:00

This year I had the opportunity to attend the Christian Midwives International Conference. And boy was it a treat! I'd heard a lot about it over the last couple of years but it never worked out to go to previous conferences. So I was excited when they announced that it would be held in Colorado Springs, about a seven hour drive for me. The view at the Franciscan Retreat Center was beautiful with mountains all around us and I took the opportunity in the mornings to go for a quiet walk. The cooler weather was wonderful after coming from Kansas where it had been in the three digits for weeks.

The conference was just what I needed. I met so many beautiful women of God and it was so refreshing to have the common bond of loving the Lord. Most of us were midwives although some were apprentices or doulas. There were also a few women who came to the conference to learn more to see if midwifery was something they wanted to pursue.

I found the schedule very relaxing. We had a couple of morning sessions, a break from lunch until two, and then a few more afternoon sessions, and most times a free evening to do whatever we decided. I came away inspired and encouraged not only in my walk with the Lord but also excited about midwifery and the things I'd learned from other midwives. If you're a midwife or thinking about becoming one, I highly recommend attending one of these conferences!

Garden of the Gods...

Twins!

2011-08-09T14:48:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow Daisy & Hazel will be a month old. Wow, time flies! Twins don't come along very often, but when they do, it adds an element of excitement to a pregnancy along with a lot more responsibility for a midwife. As missionaries, Daisy & Hazel's family didn't come to the States until late in the pregnancy and so we had to make plans fairly quickly after they arrived. We planned to do a home birth. But at 35 weeks the twins decided they were ready to come and so we had to make other arrangements. They were born in the hospital with Daisy weighing 5 lbs and Hazel weighing 4 lb 7 oz. I typically don't deliver babies at home before 36 weeks because babies' lungs normally aren't fully developed before then. But both Daisy and Hazel didn't seem to have a problem with their lungs. They seemed to know how to use them quite well! We are so thankful they didn't need extra help after the birth and were able to go home before long.

Arms and legs everywhere! Daisy & Hazel's mom said they don't sleep well unless they're snuggled up really close to each other ~ sometimes nose to nose! =)

July Babies

2011-08-08T15:56:00.000-05:00

Azariah Ann

Azariah Ann made her appearance the first part of July. She's a sweet little thing!

This was a special birth, especially for Bethany since Azariah is her little niece!

Caroline Joy

I was privileged to attend Caroline's birth. Sorani, one of the Texas midwives who trained me, delivered this family's last baby and then they moved to Kansas and so I was able to help "catch" the next one. Caroline's mom is also from my home area. It's pretty rare to find a fellow Canadian here in Kansas!

Bethany and I have a new apprentice, Laurel. We're excited about having her work with us! This was her first birth to attend as an apprentice and she did great.

June Babies

2011-08-08T15:09:00.000-05:00

It's been a LONG while since I posted pictures of new babies so now there are several to "show off."

Hannah Grace actually arrived early on Memorial Day. Her due date was supposed to be in June but she arrived a little early. Here she is with her bothers and sisters who just adore her. =)

Moriah is a June baby that arrived almost 4 weeks before her due date. We were all surprised she came so early but she did so well and is growing like a weed!!

Jaythan is another June baby but lots bigger than 36 week old Moriah. He weighed 9+ pounds and is doing great!

Brogan Alexander

2011-04-19T12:48:00.000-05:00

This little guy arrived last Thursday, April 14th. He weighed 8# 1 oz and is welcomed by his parents and four siblings!

William

2011-03-22T20:33:00.012-05:00

William is the last baby to arrive in the whole string of babies we've had lately. He should be the last one for a little while so I'm going on vacation for a week to see my sister, her husband, and three little ones. I'm super excited about that!

It was special to assist at William's birth last Tuesday because, not only was this his mom's first home birth, it was also her first VBAC after having had three C-sections!

Yup! 21 and a 1/4 inches long!

Fiona Grace

2011-03-21T10:30:00.009-05:00

I had the great privilege of assisting at Fiona's birth on March 11. Fiona's mom came to me about 4 weeks before her due date and was interested in me coming to the hospital to be her doula. She'd had a fairly traumatic first delivery in the hospital with her first baby and hoped for a better experience with her second.

Although far from easy, Fiona's mom did a wonderful job. It's hard for a laboring mother to stay positive about having a vaginal birth when her care providers strongly recommend having a C-section while she's in the middle of labor, but she did amazing. I believe God's hand was on this laboring mother and he brought about His perfect will for this birth. Little Fiona was born only several hours after we arrived at the hospital and her mom had no trouble delivering her!! We are so grateful for God's hand in it all!

Fiona seemed just a tad upset about leaving her cozy spot in her mommy's womb. She liked scrunching up her little face and letting out a loud cry. I thought she looked especially cute when she made upset faces. She calmed down after an hour or so and then ate like a champ.

Madison

2011-03-14T11:35:00.007-05:00

Madison made her appearance last Saturday afternoon. She sure is a cutie!Madison with big sister Morgan

Morgan was so excited about her sister and did a great job at giving Madison her first bath. She'll be a great help to mom, I'm sure.

Winston

2011-03-08T14:49:00.025-06:00

Winston arrived last Wednesday - all 7 lbs of him!

Love his bright little outfit. =)A very happy mommy and daddy. Congratulations you two! You are so blessed!This was my first solo birth. Since the other midwife who typically assists me at births was busy helping another midwife several hours away, I called my friend, Robyn, to see if she could help out since she'd been at one of my last births. She was very willing to come but was disappointed to miss Winston's birth by 2 minutes. Heather, a friend of the couple, walked in just as Winston was born and so she was a great help with keeping track of times and handing me things I needed. Thanks, Robyn and Heather, for all your help!

Samuel

2011-03-08T10:59:00.032-06:00

Samuel arrived safe and sound on February 26, the same day as another baby boy (see previous post), but thankfully one came in the wee hours of the morning and the other later that night. God's timing is always perfect.

(The following photos used by permission. Thanks to Samuel's family for sharing some of these with me.)

I love when babies let out their first cry. It truly is a miracle!7 # 9 oz!!
Dad and his boys Grandma & Samuel
Grandpa & Samuel Samuel with Auntie Such cute, cute little footprints. They were so chubby!Robyn gave Samuel his first bath.Just adorable. Me, Robyn, & Bethany
I'm so thankful for these ladies! They are awesome assistants!This was Robyn's first birth she assisted me with.

I enjoyed getting to know C & E's family. They are such a sweet couple and their love for the Lord and their children is so evident. May God's blessing rest on both of you as you raise your little ones for the Lord. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this special event in your lives.

Shawn

2011-03-07T15:58:00.010-06:00

Whew! It's been a busy week and a half! The Lord has blessed in so many ways. He's given laboring moms the strength to bring their little ones into this world. He's given safety to each little one that is born, causing them to cry and take their first breath. He's given me joy in the midst of each birth, even when several babies come one after another and I'm tired and worn.

I assisted Bethany at Shawn's birth over a week ago. He's a very special little guy because this is his mom's first VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). We're so grateful for his safe arrival.

Leah

2011-02-25T14:37:00.006-06:00

Baby girl, Leah Leigh, was born yesterday morning weighing 6 lb, 14 oz. She has beautiful dark hair and long fingers and toes. =)

So happy she came when she did! The freezing rain we got later in the day would have made our trip to their home interesting if she hadn't arrived when she did because she sure came quickly!

So far the February babies have all taken their turn. Three more to go! We'll see how the next week goes...

-Heidi

Salome Rose

2011-02-19T15:49:00.003-06:00

You couldn't have asked for a more perfect birth. Bethany and I joked afterward that if all births were as easy as Salome's we would most likely be out of a job. She certainly is a precious little thing and we're grateful for her safe arrival!

Sarah Mae

2011-02-14T08:53:00.006-06:00

Lots of whooping and hollering followed the arrival of Little Sarah. Four brothers had eagerly been waiting to know if it was a boy or girl and when they discovered it was a little princess they were super excited! I don't think Sarah will lack Protectors as she grows up.

Little newborn feet are so precious.

I enjoyed assisting Bethany at this birth as the second midwife. The family was so sweet and it's always encouraging to see parents committed to raising their little ones for the Lord. Congratulations to Sarah's family!

Little Z

2011-01-20T20:35:00.023-06:00

(Little Z's parents give full permission for his birth story to be shared on CreatedforPraise.)

Not every birth is how we anticipate it. Sometimes unexpected events occur. As with all of life, we make plans and have dreams that we hope to see fulfilled. This is good. We were made to dream. But we can't always see the whole picture. Only God does. And what He has in mind for drawing out the picture of our lives is beautiful...much more beautiful than our own ideas of the finished picture.

As a midwife, I desire to give each couple a beautiful home birth experience, done exactly how they dream of bringing their child into the world. Thankfully, God made women to give birth and birth progresses normally most of the time. Sometimes, as in little Z's birth, it plays out differently than we'd planned.

Z was due to arrive around Christmas time...but his mom didn't go into labor until 1 1/2 weeks later. Early Wednesday morning I received a call from Z's parents saying that labor had started and they were ready for me to come. I had a fairly long ride to their home and so I started out right away with Bethany, my assistant.

Mom was doing a wonderful job with contractions and labor was progressing very normally when we arrived. I checked baby and mom and they were both doing fine. Several hours later, mom was almost completely dilated except for a small anterior cervical lip. Almost as soon as she started pushing, the cervical lip went away completely as baby's head descended.

There's always so much anticipation at this point in labor! The long hours of working through contractions are over and mom can start pushing. Everything was set-up and we were all ready to meet little Z.

Mom did an amazing job with pushing, but then things seemed to stop progressing. We helped mom move to a number of different positions hoping Z would move further down in the birth canal. At this point, however, I discovered that he had moved to a posterior position and we would need to try and change that first. Z finally did flip anterior again after much hard work on his mommy's part. She had so much endurance and willingly tried every position we suggested, even if it meant much harder contractions.

Even after Z turned to the correct position, very little progress was being made. A number of hours had gone by at this point. Every so often, Z seemed to make a little more progress and we'd be encouraged that maybe this time he could get his head past the pubic bone.

However, it became apparent that we would need to go to the hospital before too long. Mom was exhausted and was having high blood pressure issues. Baby just wasn't coming and needed a little help coming out. So after discussing all of our options, we finally decided to go in. We were all disappointed. We were so close...but just not getting there.

The hospital staff was ready for us when we arrived. Mom started pushing again and with the help of vacuum and forceps, Z entered the world. He needed some suctioning and stimulation but was soon crying and looking around.

Z stayed in the NICU for the night due to possible meconium aspiration. He was doing well but the staff wanted to keep a close eye on him. During the night Z developed some complications. He had a seizure and later his blood platelet count dropped and was abnormally low. A number of tests were done. The doctors never really discovered why he experienced some problems. We may never know.

Z was able to go home and is doing exceptionally well which is such an answer to our prayers. I went to visit Z and his mom in their home for his two week check-up. He is so alert and follows you with your eyes when you talk. Z's mom said that when his daddy reads Bible stories to him he just looks and looks at him. His daddy read stories to him while Z was in the womb and recognizes his voice.

At two weeks he gained almost a pound and eats like a champ! And yes, he certainly has a personality already. He's such a sweet, mushable little guy!

"...All things were created by him, and for him: And he is before all things, and by him all things consist." (Col. 1:17)

The picture that God is drawing for Z and his parents is a beautiful one. Although we don't always understand His ways or His purposes, they are good. And yes, had I been the artist painting the picture of Z's life the day of his birth, I would have drawn it differently. But I'm glad I'm not the artist because God makes it much more beautiful than I ever could.

-Heidi

Christmas & Babies

2011-01-19T14:37:00.036-06:00

It's been awhile since my last post. I suppose it's because I didn't have any babies due in October and November and then when several babies are born in a month, like December, I don't have as much time to post. At least that's what seems to happen all too often...

But I of course had to show pictures of these latest little ones.

My husband and I left for Canada to celebrate Christmas with our families early Christmas week. Two babies were due over the time we were gone, and one was due the day after we were supposed to be back. I hoped and prayed they would all decide to wait. Because, even though we'd made plans earlier in the year to go home for Christmas and my expectant moms knew before they started care with me that we would be gone Christmas week, as the time drew closer I fervently hoped that they would wait for me to get back. Or have their babies before I left! I didn't realize how hard it would be for me to leave. They were in good hands with my backup midwife, but after getting to know someone well, it's hard to think of not being there for such a special thing like the birth of their baby.

Here are a few pictures from our trip. It was so wonderful to spend time with family and I couldn't get enough of the beautiful snow. There's no other place quite like Northern Ontario in the wintertime. It was very COLD but so beautiful!

There's nothing quite like salt and vinegar fries... Visiting the Old Chip Truck is always a must when we go home.

My sister and sister-in-laws - Kate, Krys, and Katrina

The hockey game that ended with a broken hand...

Building an igloo

Me and my dad

My mother-in-law, Katrina, and my mom...very precious women in my life.

And now, back to the babies...

I'm happy to say they waited! I called Bethany, my backup midwife, on our trip home and she said everything had been very quiet. About the time we crossed the Kansas line I called my expectant moms to let them know I was back in the area and to tell them we were just a few hours from home. A half hour after I called them, one of them called me back and said, "My water just broke." Since she wasn't having a lot of contractions and this was her first baby, I figured I'd have a few hours until she needed me to come to her home.

And I was right. We got home, unpacked the car, packed my birth bags, and got a few hours of sleep before she called again saying she was ready for me.

This mommy had a lovely first-time labor and little T was such a cute little thing. It was also a blessing to have this mom's sister at the birth. She is taking training to be a doula so she definitely made my job easier! (Permission granted to post photo.)

This little guy wasn't very happy with me when I came for the home visit several days later. Probably because I had just finished pricking his foot.

I assisted Bethany at a birth several days later. All the kids were super excited about their new sister. I wish I had a picture of all the kids but somehow that got forgotten in all the excitement.

(Photo used by permission.)

My other December baby didn't arrive until early January. I'll be posting pictures of him before too long!

-Heidi

September Babies

2010-10-04T12:51:00.013-05:00

A little over a year ago Vincent and I moved to Kansas, not really knowing what all God had in store for us. We were excited about the possibility for me to begin a midwifery practice, but being new to Kansas, we really didn't know what to expect as far as the need for midwives in this part of the world. Today I'm thankful to the Lord for the opportunities He's given to meet some of the families in this area. It's been a wonderful learning experience and privilege working with you over the last year. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your lives. You all are special to me!

It's been a little while since I updated my blog. Since then, several babies decided to show their faces.

The first one, born over a month ago now, came so quickly that both Kara and I didn't make it on time. This was the first birth I've missed since starting midwifery including my time training as a student. That was a little disappointing since I always love helping bring a baby into the world. I guess it goes to show that babies can come whether a doctor or midwife is there or not. The dad was pretty proud of himself for delivering his daughter. By the time I got to their house he was already posting it on Facebook and couldn't stop grinning. =)

Occasionally I work as a doula, going to the laboring mom's home, assisting with different comfort measures during labor, and then helping the couple decide when it's a good time to start heading to the hospital. D.H.'s mom had a pretty quick labor and by the time I arrived at their home, she had made significant progress. We decided to go to the hospital not too long after and she was already completely dilated. Ideally, we would have gotten there a little sooner but I guess it wouldn't be too disappointing to have labor over and done with as a laboring mom. D.H. is a very cute, healthy little girl, weighing 7 pounds 5 oz at birth.

Little T.M. (another girl!) was born this past month. She is such a precious little baby and so very cute. (She is the only baby I have pictures of for this post so I guess I'll add a few.) She is adored by her mommy and daddy and is such a content baby. Mom deserves a happy baby after her long, hard labor. Congratulations on your precious little one D. and B.!

T.M. at three days old

Little T. at 2 weeks old. Isn't she adorable?

2010-08-16T15:21:00.005-05:00

Little Maddix arrived safe and sound about a week ago. He's such a precious little bundle and very much loved by his family. Thanks so much for letting me be a part of this special time in your lives! It's been a privilege working with you!

"Lo, Children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." Psalm 127:3

Little Princesses

2010-07-16T19:04:00.014-05:00

Two precious baby girls made their way into the world this week. The first, little Isabel, made her appearance after much hard work and determination on her mama's part. Sometimes babies have a mind of their own and this little one was no exception. She insisted on turning her head at an angle that wasn't very conducive to delivery. We're all thankful she finally made it safe and sound.

This is probably the last birth Kelsey and I will do together (for awhile anyway). She decided to get married and move to far off PA (without my permission of course) and so it looks like I'll have to get along without her. I love doing births with her. Training at the same birth center and having her as a roommate for 14 months made us get to know each other really well. We often know what the other one is thinking and needs before the other one asks. It makes for a great birth team! But, since I can't convince her to stay and her fiance doesn't seem to take my suggestions seriously about moving to Kansas, I'll have to learn to be okay with it. I'm going to miss you Kelsey! It was great doing another birth with Susanna as well. She flew home just in time to make it to this birth.

And then a couple days later...little miss Natalie arrived! Not a lot was happening when Bethany and I first got to their home early in the morning. Contractions had slowed and so we just waited...something midwives are good at. =) But it was a good thing we went when we did because when Natalie decided it come...she came quickly.

Admiring their new sister

Congratulations to both the families! May the Lord richly bless you as you raise your children to praise His name.

2010-06-28T13:33:00.003-05:00

I'm always grateful for the privilege of taking part in the labor & birth process. I hope I never lose the wonder of a baby entering the world. I don't think I will. It's too precious.

Life never ceases to be interesting as a midwife and each birth is unique in it's own way. The birth Bethany and I attended last week was no exception. Driving down dirt roads at high speeds, honking at people on the road so that they move to the side as we speed by, getting to the home three minutes before baby was born...it all makes for an interesting & exciting day!

I often think about the great responsibility we as midwives hold. We're responsible for assisting the normal process of labor & birth, to encourage & support the laboring mom, to recognize when intervention is needed in an emergency situation, and then to use our skills to help bring a little one safely into the world. But still, no matter how much training & experience you have as a midwife, God is the One in control of the outcome. He is the One who causes a little one to take his first breath and He is the One who gives wisdom for each circumstance.

Ecclesiastes 11:5 says, "Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things." Know matter how much knowledge I have, there are still some things, including how a baby is formed in the womb, that I cannot grasp or comprehend. Yet, I can go forward with confidence because I know God loves to show Himself strong when I am weak and at the end of my rope. How thankful I am that the One who knows and makes all things, holds everything in His hands!

2010-06-09T15:58:00.009-05:00

This little guy made his way into the world this morning. We're thankful for his safe arrival and for God's perfect timing in bringing him here. Congratulations to the family!

It's A Boy!

2010-06-07T14:52:00.013-05:00

This past week I had the joy and privilege of assisting at the birth of a precious little boy. He made his appearance a bit early, which we were all grateful for due to a wedding that took place a few days after his birth. (It's not very often that babies plan their arrival around a midwife's schedule.)

The month of May was very quiet as far as babies were concerned and so I was very ready to participate in another birth. The birth was long and hard but this mom did exceptionally well during labor and delivery. The couple worked so well together too, which made for a sweet and beautiful birth.

Working with Bethany was great again too. I look forward to doing many more births together!

Another Little Miracle

2010-04-15T20:54:00.004-05:00

I'm thankful for another beautiful and safe birth this week. I traveled to Canada this past weekend and am so glad this little one decided to wait until I returned before he made his way into the world. I never cease to be amazed at the wonder of new life! It is so precious! I'm also thankful that Bethany returned from her trip to Africa in time to assist me at this birth.

New Baby Girl!

2010-03-30T21:02:00.010-05:00

It was a great privilege to deliver a precious baby girl yesterday morning. This birth was especially special because it was this mother's first vaginal birth after having a Cesarean section with her first child. We are so thankful to the Lord for answered prayer for a safe, beautiful birth.

Performing Cassie's newborn exam.

I am grateful to Kelsey for assisting me at this birth. It's always such a blessing to work with her.